Adulthood is weird. There is a very strange dissonance that occurs within one's age group once you leave college. If anyone who is reading this is still in college, hang on tightly. Up until this past year I have been doing (largely) the same thing as all the people I knew. Yes, after highschool some people went on different paths, but I found my group in college and we were all on the same page. School, work, home, stuff on the weekends, repeat.
But then, you graduate college, and people are catapulted into a million different directions and this whole idea of "being comfortable with your own journey" becomes a whole lot more relevant, and a whole lot harder. There are no more direct comparisons once you enter the "real world", there is no more baseline, no more normal, no nothing. You're just you.
The progress you make, or the decisions you choose, or the things you do are exactly that, just simply yours. Sounds pretty nice, but if you are like me (in need of constant validation) you'll find yourself in a pretty tricky place. How am I supposed to know that I'm doing okay when I cannot look at the people around me to make that judgement? Sure, I get it, it has to come from inside myself. Validation rooted in my values and my desires in life. I hear that, and yet have you actually ever tried it? Because it's really hard.
Candidly, feeling okay about my own path is increasingly difficult when I have been single for 3 years and a good handful of my friends are either married/getting married. Let's talk about that self-comparison spiral. To me, it feels like, "Oh crap", things are happening to people, and I'm falling behind somehow. Now, I know this isn't true because I am doing things! Things I am very proud of! But it certainly makes it feel a lot harder when the people you love are making these monumental moves, and you are not. Maybe my moves are smaller right now. Maybe they are in the works, bubbling under the surface. Maybe my big moves are waiting for me to be a little more well suited to make them.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. What I know is this process is hard, and growing up is uncomfortable. I also know I wouldn't trade a single second of it for anything. I don't want to wish this discomfort away, even though at times it feels like a good move. There is so much to be loved here, so much to be inspired by, and grown by, and I don't want to miss it. So, this week I will be focusing on celebrating my little moves, and letting that be enough.
Speaking of people I love making big moves, one of my very best friends is getting married in a few weeks and will (very unfortunately) be leaving me for Georgia, and a husband. Intentionality within my friendships has been a very salient part of relationship for me lately, and there's nothing like a cross-country move to make intentionally spending time with someone feel incredibly important.
I am lucky to be loved by this girl, lucky to love her, and lucky to walk through life with her. And what better way to show love than to cook vodka pasta for them! Which is what I did. If you want to show someone you love them, follow these steps.
Dice an onion, toss it into a pan with olive oil, salt, pepper, oregano, and red pepper flakes.
Let those babies get softened and browned and fry off the spices a little.
Add in an entire (yes, an entire) tube of tomato paste.
Cook this mixture for about 5 minutes, which will cook out the harshness of the tomato paste flavor.
Add in about 1/3 cup of vodka, stir that around, and 1 cup of heavy cream.
Let it cook and bubble together for about 5 minutes. Turn off heat
Cook your pasta of choice (I'd go for a penne or fusilli but who am I to tell you what noodle to use?).
Cook noodles until al dente and then add them to the sauce.
Turn heat on low, add 1/2 cup of pasta water and finish cooking the noodles in the sauce.
That's it! It's stupid easy and stupid good. Happy cooking everyone!
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